There are a lot of different phases in life. I don't think I could name all of mine but some major ones would include: Jr. High, High School, College, Indecisive/Intense/Nomadic i.e., my early 20's, Early marriage, etc. Each phase presents a different set of challenges, joys, decisions, wonderings.
Recently I feel like I'm navigating about ten different phases at once. There's the Recognizing-I'm-Not-Getting-Any-Younger-Phase, New Mom Phase, Modified Work Phase, Renegotiating Marriage With a Child Phase, Sick Parent Phase, Family Dynamic Phase, Wish I Had More Adult Conversations Phase, Go to Bed at Eight Phase, I think you see what I'm saying.
I keep thinking eventually the volume phases will diminish and I will be able to enjoy, what I would like to have be, the I'm Pretty Stinking Content to Be Here Phase. But then I have to chuckle because I'm not really wired that way. I always think about what's next. What new adventure is coming. What shift in my life is around the corner.
And I look forward to these future things with often unrealistic hopefulness. Not because the new phases of life aren't great but because once they arrive I tend to be pondering the possibilities of the next one. I'm pretty sure this cycle is the key to my perpetual restlessness.
So I'm wondering how to be more comfortable where I'm standing. I'm trying to figure out how to be at least partially content with not working as much as I think I should be while also not being the most rockin stay at home mom in the world. I'm trying to figure out how to not want to change everything that I can't manipulate while changing the things I want to but don't get around to because I fell asleep putting Aasta down for a nap. I'm trying to embrace the shifting of my life's expectations while constantly breathing new life into what I expect out of life.
I'm trying to do all of this while remembering that perfection is kind of annoying and mediocrity has it's advantages. Oh, and to have a sense of humor in the process.