Bacon
I just read a blog post about a woman who hasn't eaten meat or meat products in months. Her opening statement actually said, "I haven't eaten bacon in months." Which is cool. I'm all for vegetarian consumption as long as I still get a burger and some hot wings now and again.
That said, this weekend I ate half a package of bacon...by myself. It was one of the best days of my life and that either means I need to get out more or I like bacon too much.
That said, this weekend I ate half a package of bacon...by myself. It was one of the best days of my life and that either means I need to get out more or I like bacon too much.
I'm all for vegetarian consumption as well. Vegetarians are leaner and have less cholesterol than BACON. Free range vegetarians are best, since they are able to browse natural greens as they move from protest to protest. High-density “Occupy” vegetarians are less tasty, inasmuch as fresh greens are hard to come by while packed cheek-by-jowl. Lichen-fed vegans are occasionally eaten on cable-TV cooking shows, but are rejected by most authorities due to their muddy flavor and stringy consistency. To be avoided are vegetarians Occupying clinics for free health care, as they will likely be loaded up with pharmaceuticals, which both kills the taste and sends one on a voyage to Trip-Out City. For best flavor, take one deboned vegetarian (or two deboned vegans), marinate for 24 hours in three-week-old protest-camp sweat, baste in patchouli, and cook with rendered BACON bits over a medium flame. Garnish with incense and hemp. Serves two humans or four space-alien-rat-bastards. Hypothetically.
ReplyDeleteP.S....BACON!!
To each their own and that woman (L*u@i#) can have her salad just so long as you and I can still have bacon.
ReplyDeleteHEY. You stole my bacon. Thief!
ReplyDelete-signed, the former vegetarian
Didn't you steal my cookies *GRIN*?
ReplyDeleteEating bacon can accelerate life's purpose. Which is to eat more bacon.
ReplyDelete