I like taking care of myself even thought I'm not fantastic about doing so. Still, this month I'm practicing what I've coined "gratuitous self care." It means that no matter how over the top blissful or self differentiated it is, I'm doing it. I started by going to yoga yesterday. I purchased a groupon for a month of unlimited Yoga at Core Power Yoga. It was too great of a deal to pass up and provided a perfect launch for my month of self yumminess. That said, my hour of yoga yesterday felt like an embodied fairy godmother, I came away feeling rested, cleansed, and a released from some of the nagging voices in my head.
I just got home from leading a retreat in Colorado that was really fun. I was at Rainbow Trail Lutheran Camp for my first retreat since having Aasta. It felt symbolic that my last retreat was there a year ago. That said, since I'm still nursing, Aasta was with me. Having her along made it challenging to really engage in the retreat the way I'm used to. Still I thought it was a decent return to the fray. That is until I read two annoyingly critical evaluations that were far from helpful. The stinker is that even though all of the other evaluations were very positive those two have been ruminating about in my head, and not in a good way.
Hence over the top self care...I've dedicated my work to trying to help women have the courage and tenacity to tell the ugly voices to shove it only to find I still blow goats at doing it myself. So I'm digging into the trenches to figure out how to practice what I preach.