Raw honesty

I just read my sister-in-law's blog where she wrote the most stunningly vivid and honest account of her days that I have ever read.  She inspired me to write again, as it's been a wee bit of a long time.

It's hard to be honest, especially on the dog days.  I look back at this year and wonder where the time has gone but each day, at times, drags on like a stuck clock.  Is is really almost August?  Is summer really waning?  Didn't I just wake up to the first signs of spring a week ago?  Well, if there is any indication of that reality it's my back lawn that looks like it hasn't been mowed in months, in spite of the fact that the greatest neighbor ever (sup Shawn!) mowed our lawn while we were out of town.  So here I sit, in the heat of summer, having thought that by now I would have adjusted to being a new mom only to find that I'm as discombobulated as I was in December.

I think or at least I hope, we're beyond feeling like we're supposed to only say wonderful and amazing things about being a mom.  I know some people still feel like there is nothing in the world they would rather do and granted, I wouldn't take it back for anything, but sometimes I would like to be able to simply unload the dishwasher in one setting instead of it taking me a week.  I would like to be able to put things away in my house and not have it look like babies-r-us threw up in my living room a half hour later.  I would like to feel free again, to move and travel, and pursue my own passions.

My brother and SIL are expecting baby number three and it's good to hear that even years into mommyhood the struggles don't go away.  Contrary to popular belief I think it's easier to know and have permission to feel the crappy than to think we're supposed to always be happy.  Not that I'm opposed to happy, I just think there are more honest emotions most of the time.

So that said, I have our dear Jenna here swimming with my daughter in the baby pool so I'm going to go empty the dishwasher, and maybe even shower...or stare at the wall for a while...uninterrupted.  Peace out!

Comments

  1. Thanks, Sara, for sharing the 'unvarnished truth' (as my brother calls it) and for supporting me in mine. You inspire me all the time to do things like write more, wear a bikini when I'm pregnant, and continue on my solo walk around the block even when my kids are begging/crying to come with me as Jedd physically holds them back (And didn't I spend the entire day with those same kids? And they want more of me?! Cuz I need a break!)
    I love you and I'd love to snuggle too. :)
    Annika

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  2. Very beautiful my dear Larson. I miss connecting over thoughts such as these. It seems like ages. I appreciate your words, as always, but mostly I marvel at the person behind the thoughts. Thank you for being part of my life, even if from a distance.

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  3. I spoke to Bridget and she would love nothing better than to come and do dishes, skim the Babies-R-Us spill, mow, sweep, fold clothes, and re-stock the cereals. Pretty much whatever is needed. (Except windows. Bridget doesn't do windows.)

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  4. Thank you for this post and thank you for your honesty. I hear you in so many ways! Can we plan a time together so our girls can "play" and we can be moms or not :-)

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