Touche'

I often try to make myself sound like an expert.  I'm really not an expert in anything, save perhaps the most effective way to make eating a Twizzler last an inordinately long time.  One thing I used to think I knew a lot about is how important it is for mothers to claim their own identity in the thicket of parenting children.  This philosophy was, I believe, legitimately born out of my experiences in working with women, many of whom speak very candidly about how they feel they lost themselves a little bit while raising a family.  

That said, I was certain that once I became a mother I wouldn't need any coaxing to remain a fiercely independent woman with a unrelenting desire to seek her own passions and branch out on her own.  I believed I would be able to gracefully balance my own professional life while navigating motherhood with ease and poise.  I was convinced I would be able to confidently leave my child in the competent hands of another while fearlessly exiting and dashing into the varied facets of my ever-expanding web of influence.

So I'm slightly embarrassed to admit, but I just dropped Aasta off with her nanny (for only three hours) where I proceeded to hover at the door explaining to a child care expert how to give my daughter a bottle, showed her the diaper bag six times, explained that the spit-up on my daughters chin is simply her way of smiling more uniquely than other children, demonstrated and interpreted what every single facial expression means and the most effective response, walked out the door only to turn around and walk back in just to make sure I had fully explained how to give my daughter a bottle, then got into my car put the car in drive and bawled like a baby.

Touche'

Comments

  1. I'm fairly certain that I never had an identity to begin with; therefore, I have nothing to reclaim, find or come to terms with. Be happy that your identity and self and passions to pursue, even if it pulls at your heartstrings to do so.

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  2. I adore you. You have arrived :-) xoxo Leetle

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