So I used to be REALLY good at doing the limbo. I won all of the limbo contests at my high school dances, I won a couple in college. Heck, I won one about three years ago in Switzerland. But that's not the kind of limbo I'm talking about.

Do you ever feel like you're hanging out waiting for the next thing to happen? I feel like I've been in perpetual limbo for a very long time. Whether it's holding out to plan my trip schedule until we find out where Mike (hubby) will be working, wondering if I'm pregnant, waiting for business contacts to call back, trying to finish grad-school (twice), I feel like I'm often just on the cusp of figuring out what's next when something else gets thrown in the mix that requires me to wait a little longer or put off a plan. I used to love limbo, when I was younger. Limbo meant change, and change meant there was no grass growing beneath these feet. Now limbo still means change, and change still means no grass grows beneath my feet. The difference is now I have a yard, and I like my grass, and quite frankly we've spent a lot of money trying to get the grass to grow beneath our feet.

I wonder when it shifted? I wonder when I started craving a calm and relatively settled life? I wonder if I'll ever have a calm and settled life? Limbo is hard, there's not answers, or time tables, or definitive anythings. It's kind of like sitting through Waiting for Godot, you don't recall when it started and have no idea if it's ever going to end. Limbo can also be liberating. I realize I'm not really beholden to any assumed practices or expectations. I get to make choices about what really matters and why.

But all the same, limbo champion that I once was. I'm ready for calm and settled, at least temporarily.


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